Report Claims This Age Group Cheats Most in Relationships

Relationship dynamics are always evolving, but the question of what age people are most likely to cheat sparks curiosity everywhere—especially in Nigeria, where marriage remains a cornerstone of society. According to a recent survey by Ashley Madison, an international dating platform targeting married individuals, certain age ranges stand out when it comes to infidelity. The survey, which garnered responses from over 2,099 participants, breaks down cheating incidents by detailed age brackets, offering a rare peek into a topic that isn’t always openly discussed in Nigerian or West African communities.

Participants in the survey were grouped by age: 18 and below, 19 to 29, 30 to 39, 40 to 49, 50 to 59, 60 to 69, and 70 years and above. What stands out from the findings is not only the frequency of cheating in particular brackets, but also the social factors that may drive those behaviours. By relating these trends to homegrown observations, it becomes clearer why some Nigerian and African couples may experience infidelity at specific life phases.

Below, four notable age categories emerge where cheating is reportedly most common, based on collected data and several supporting studies.

1. Ages 30 to 39: The Midlife Challenge

The survey indicates that the 30 to 39 age range is where marital infidelity peaks, with 32 percent of respondents admitting to cheating in this period—often within their first five years of marriage. For many in Nigeria, this phase is marked by adjusting to family life, growing career demands, and sometimes grappling with unmet expectations from weddings that are often celebrated with great fanfare.

This upward trend has been associated with what psychologists refer to as the “midlife crisis.” Ashley Madison’s internal metrics show most male users register around age 36, while most women do so by 33. A Lagos-based counselor, Tunde Adeyemi, explains: “Many couples enter marriage with high hopes, but daily pressures—finances, family, societal expectations—can feel overwhelming. Some seek escape, and unfortunately, cheating becomes their outlet.”

2. Ages 19 to 29: Youthful Experimentation

The next most vulnerable group comprises people aged 19 to 29. According to the survey, 28 percent admitted to their first act of cheating in this age window. Across Nigeria and Ghana, early adulthood is often a period of “finding oneself”—a time when career paths, friendship circles, and romantic identities are all in flux. Many young adults value freedom and adventure, which sometimes comes at the expense of staying loyal in committed relationships.

Abuja-based relationship therapist Amara Okonkwo notes, “For many young people, the focus is on exploring. Commitment can feel stifling, especially as more Nigerians are exposed to global digital dating cultures. There’s a strong urge to try new experiences before settling down.” This experimentation is not unique to West Africa; similar trends are reported globally as society becomes more accepting of people marrying later and dating more partners.

3. Ages 40 to 49: Stress and Life Transitions

In the survey, the 40 to 49 age group is another hotspot for infidelity, with 24 percent of participants admitting to being unfaithful during these years. Many in this bracket have endured years of marriage and frequently have children. The added responsibilities—parenting, career advancement, and sometimes caring for aging parents—can place relationships under significant stress.

Dr. Funmi Adeoye, a clinical psychologist practicing in Lagos, offers perspective: “It’s common for couples to become distant as parenting and work take over. When emotional needs remain unmet, infidelity can become a misguided attempt to recapture freedom or past excitement.” According to respondents, many affairs in this age range begin after the arrival of children or when personal stress peaks.

4. The “Nine-Enders” Phenomenon (Ages ending in ‘9’)

A particularly intriguing insight comes from international research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, suggesting people are statistically more likely to have affairs or make radical life changes as they approach a new decade in age—think 29, 39, 49, and so on. This is known as the “nine-enders” phenomenon.

Researchers attribute this spike to “milestone anxiety,” where individuals reflect on achievements or unmet goals as they approach a landmark birthday. In West Africa, birthdays—especially decade markers—carry cultural significance. According to social commentator Bisi Adebayo, “Approaching a new phase in life often makes people question their choices. Some may worry about missed romantic opportunities or unfulfilled dreams, which sometimes leads to risky behaviour or infidelity.”

But it must be noted: temptation can strike at any age, and no demographic is entirely immune. Cheating can occur for countless reasons—lack of communication, personal dissatisfaction, or external temptation—but every case is deeply personal and cannot be boiled down to numbers alone.

Local Context: How This Relates to Nigerian and West African Realities

While these trends reflect global surveys, there’s an added layer of sensitivity within Nigerian and African societies. Cultural expectations around marriage are rigorous, and infidelity is often considered taboo. Traditionally, communities expect couples to “manage” or work through marital issues privately, especially as public shaming or family interference might follow once secrets come to light.

However, as urbanisation, globalisation, and internet access expand, traditional norms are shifting. According to social researcher Chiamaka Nwokocha, “Young adults now have more exposure to international relationship values and social media, which sometimes influences what is considered acceptable or normal. In cities like Lagos and Accra, more couples are discussing therapy, separation, or even open relationships—topics that used to be off-limits.”

Global Implications and Broader Analysis

The trendlines seen locally also mirror much of what’s observed internationally: periods of instability, stress, or self-doubt can increase the risk of infidelity. In countries such as the United States, UK, and South Africa, similar studies have underscored infidelity spikes at major life transitions or age milestones. Yet, response to infidelity varies greatly: some countries have support systems for couples, while in others—like parts of Nigeria—social stigma can deeply affect both parties.

Legal experts note that, in Nigeria for instance, there are limited consequences for adultery unless it is cited in legal divorce proceedings. Meanwhile, religious and community responses remain relentless, often leading to counseling, mediation, or ostracism rather than formal legal action.

Building Healthier Relationships: Local Strategies

Promote open communication and trust between partners
Engage in marriage counseling before and during marriage
Set realistic expectations and manage societal pressure
Emphasise shared values over material or external pressures
Pursue community support that respects privacy and encourages resolution

Relationship counsellors strongly recommend addressing issues early. As marriage educator Mrs. Ifeoma Obi puts it, “Honest conversations about needs and fears can prevent small problems from growing. Cheating doesn’t solve the root issue, and healing is possible with the right support.”

Conclusion: Reflecting on the Numbers and the Human Stories Behind Them

While statistics offer insight, every relationship is unique, and raw data does not capture the full picture of why infidelity happens. As society evolves in Nigeria and across West Africa, open dialogue about marriage and faithfulness is both necessary and healthy. The most important lesson—according to experts and community voices alike—is the value of understanding, honesty, and respect within every relationship.

How do you think societal pressures or age milestones affect relationship choices in your community? Have you noticed shifts in how infidelity is addressed in Nigerian or African circles? Share your view in the comments and join the conversation.

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